my grandpa on my dad's side passed away two weeks ago. it was surprising to me and my parents, because we hadn't even known that he was sick. apparently he has been having trouble with his heart again and had a stay in the hospital the week before he come home and passed away.
it was sad and i will miss him. it was hard to be at the gathering of family as we started to reflect on my grandma's funeral and the contrasts in their life.
my grandpa loved us, there is not doubt, so they have that in common. but my grandpa seemed to always be rushing about from one thing to the next. it begs to wonder if he was really taking in the life around him and enjoying it all. there were times when we would be visiting, the ole-and-lena jokes flowing, and abruptly it would be time for he and doris to leave for another appointment.
i am reflecting this week with my busy schedule that i need to slow it down and bring my life closer to home and closer to the people and activities that i really, really love. not that i don't enjoy the activities that i have scheduled outside of home, but i truly love to be at home and doing regular daily things with my boys and being in my studio and yard.
i can hear my grandma's voice in that: 'stop cleaning the house and play with your kids.' Though you would think that once retired you would have all the time in the world, i hope that my grandpa was happy in his mode of living. it reminds me that i cannot live in the future, planning for free time, but to live each day as the gift of now that it is.